( Hilary Valdez )
Growing up in New York City, I would wander through Wall Street, staring at the American flags displaying the symbols of freedom, democracy, amidst the architectural wonders of power, success, and wealth. I would ask myself, “Where is my place in this world?”
The New York Stock Exchange was a mystery to me, a maze of percentages, I was too young to understand. Weary from thinking it was time to take a break and have a Nathan’s Hot Dog. On the ferryboat home to Staten Island, I stared at the Statue of Liberty with a sense of freedom. I was free to make my own choices, but if I only knew what to choose.
Slowly passing Lady Liberty, I asked myself what was my fate in life? What if my fate is different from my free will? Can I choose my destiny? Does my higher power have my life planned out for me?
Fate suggests that our choices, successes, and failures are preordained. I wanted to make my own choices and use my free will to control my decisions and future. I wasn’t willing to float along the waters of life and accept my fate and surrender to my destiny. Especially after three guys attacked me while walking. It was hard to believe that everything happens for a reason and that being assaulted can help me navigate adversity and help me understand my experience as part of a more significant cosmic plan.
The concept of synchronicity, as coined by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, suggests that superficially unrelated events are connected through a deeper meaning or significance. These “meaningful coincidences” suggest that an underlying force guides our experiences, orchestrating encounters and events to steer us in a particular direction. Oh, okay!
Being raised in a religious family provided a platform of comfort solace and an explanation for life’s events. I was raised with the belief that a divine entity shapes our lives and offers a sense of purpose and comfort connected to a higher power. However, the mysteries of the human experience and my role in the world continued to confuse me.
One day my older sister was reading a book on Hinduism, and she talked about karma, where one’s past actions influence their present and future. Karma explained how fate was interwoven with cultural identity and influenced people’s understanding of their place in the universe. Hmmm, hold on. I’m from Manhattan, does everyone act and talk like New Yorkers? But no arguing with mom, “Just pray the rosary.” Really? Do you know how long it takes to pray the rosary?
Once I finished sixth grade, I began to realize my choices, big and small, come together to create the structure of my life, influencing my personal growth, relationships, success, and overall well-being. I spent a lot of time alone as a child, I had time to think and read. I concluded that understanding the impact of my decisions helped me to make attentive choices and take control of my life. Life is short, I didn’t want to make faulty decisions.
The road to achievement has many casualties stuck on barbed wire fence of life. On the journey of life, I was skeptical that there are no accidents in life and just trust in the unfolding of my life path. Then accept that each experience holds purpose and meaning, and cultivates a sense of acceptance and peace, allowing life to unfold. When faced with multiple human tragedies, this concept was a difficult struggle.
Slowly I embraced the idea that there are no accidents in life, I shifted my outlook and saw that obstacles were guiding lights on the path of life helping me to cope with hardships with greater resilience and understanding.
As human beings, we deal with the persistent “what ifs” and consider how our lives might differ had we picked a different path or made a different decision. When I examine my past decisions about my life, I have feelings of unhappiness and regret, but I also grew personally, forcing me to take a self-inventory.
My career choices shaped the course of my life, affecting a lack of financial abundance. Of course, my Wall Street friends, still in New York, are retired millionaires. No hard feelings. I’m okay. I pursued a fulfilling career that aligned with my values and interests and enhanced my well-being, professional growth, while happily listening to Bob Marley’s reggae music.
For me, prioritizing financial gain and status over personal satisfaction was not my choice. All my rich buddies had heart surgery, drank too much, and suffered from burnout and disillusionment. When we got together, they would ask me, “Why do you look young, and we look old?” It’s all about choices. Choose your fate. Challenges and difficulties often bring valuable lessons and growth opportunities. What choices will you make?
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Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email (InstantInsights@hotmail.com). Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
